What's new for me lately is a lack of motivation. I usually have the motivation but not the physical energy to function. I'm still quite fatigued but I can't be arsed to do much atm; even to book a South Pacific cruise. Get what I mean about the "blahs"? If my reaction to Fiji is like that - you can imagine what my sink looks like!

Taking a day off from my 7am walking group. I am too tired from Aqua Aerobics. It is the final day of the depression group tomorrow. Afterwards, we are going to Zumba and having a sauna. I see my gp on Thursday and will be able to bring up very unsexy issues like uti/ic, thrush and constipation. We also work through any non-bipolar reasons for the fatigue, confusion and depression.

So after weeks and weeks of shamefully not doing my housework, I got some done today.

I'll get a bit Catholic here and admit that I hadn't changed my sheets for about two months!
(I try to justify in my mind by saying "well there hasn't been a man with all those body fluids in my bed in that time, and I always shower before I go to bed" lol)

So a bit of hypomania kicked in at just about time.... and certainly not before time!

Tomorrow I have tutoring . I'll have another hour swim - and I'll sort out some funding for medication and payment of rates that I thought I had paid! Hate that!

Edit: Damn - I tend to get ptsd confused with hypomania - only when I was meditating last night did I realise it was actually ptsd

Since Feb 2009 I have been so interested in:

"Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder" Marsha M. Linehan; Paperback; $36.20

I'm the frugalest bipolar on the planet, but I actually ordered one yesterday!

I thought I would be berating myself by now, but I'm still incredibly excited.

I also added to my order:

"The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Bipolar Disorder: Using DBT to Regain Control of Your Emotions and Your Life (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook)" Sheri Van Dijk; Paperback; $14.78

"The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Diary: Monitoring Your Emotional Regulation Day by Day" Matthew McKay; Paperback; $10.85

I got an email that the three books have been shipped and I will be receiving them in 14 days.

I am so excited I could pee my pants over these three books.

(Oh and there was a mix up that I had to work out with Amazon and they offered to pay for my $28 shipping to make it up to me!!!! So what a fair company, to compensate when they stuff up like that. Customer service that good I thought was a thing of the past). Buy up big at amazon peeps!

I love it for now

I love helping the kids; and they are so grateful for the help.
There is heaps of politics at the place I tutor; very poor management, but am careful to watch out for that and expect that it will interfere with me working with the kids as some stage, so I'm not investing my all into it. I am being circumspect, but still enjoying it immensely.
I am going back to do some consolidation work with one of the kids on Thursday. I love helping!

I took my son to child and youth mental health this morning... and by way of divine intervention (or stroke of good fortune), he showed them his nutty side! What are the chances???
So after 10 years of me knocking on their door and them telling me to go away they actually said "whoa, houston we have a problem!"... I was so shocked, happily shocked and the intake officer has swung into immediate action, made a pdoc appt, had his paediatrian agree to a second opinion and wrote a referral to the pdoc! - provided to pdoc, spoken to the psychologist and contacted the school counsellor! She got this done all done within 2 hours!!!!! WTF? (She better be careful or expectations may rise of the public health system .. and her colleagues will NOT not be pleased). Anyway after my son finished his hysterics over thinking he overheard me telling the intake officer I didn't love him????.... I could easily find heaps of evidence to prove how much I love him and that he had misheard me... gawd, I love that kid more than anything!!! (We worked it out that it was prolly my comment with him living at his dad's now, I'm relieved to not have the daily homework struggle with him.) Anyway, we had arranged to go fishing - something his mother does not do.... but did it to spend time with him, with what he enjoys doing.
The weather was perfect 23/24oC with a gentle fresh breeze, the sun was streaming down and there were light fluffy clouds. The water was glistening (I love glistening water). The only drawback was having to cut up small animal carcasses for bait, but I got passed that.
His dad joined us once he finished work... and my son loves pretending to be a family again so he was happy. I left them to it after a couple of hours. I realised I quite like fishing, (but without the fishing part ).